“Venezuela” Edition

Donald Trump has unveiled his boldest foreign-policy innovation yet: regime change plus property management. After U.S. forces seized Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro from his bedroom, Trump announced that the United States would now “run” Venezuela—temporarily, indefinitely, and for its own good—while helping itself to the oil. It’s not an occupation, aides insist; it’s more like a hostile takeover with a humanitarian press release.

Speaking from Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump explained that Venezuela’s interim leadership would remain in place as long as it “does what we want,” a governance model best described as democracy-adjacent. His administration quickly tried to walk this back, clarifying that America would not be “running” the country so much as running all the policies, enforcing compliance with naval blockades, and keeping the option of “boots on the ground” handy, just in case cooperation proves insufficiently enthusiastic.