✌️“Peace Plan” Edition

Trump’s new Ukraine “peace plan” landed with the global reaction you’d expect when Jared Kushner suddenly reappears holding a 28-point Word document: confusion, disbelief, and international facepalming.

The administration proudly unveiled a proposal so tilted toward Moscow that critics described it less as “peace” and more as Ukraine signing a blank check for Putin. It reportedly included shrinking Ukraine’s army, surrendering territory, and blocking NATO, all of which Ukraine greeted with the diplomatic version of, “Are you kidding me?”

After the backlash, the White House insisted the plan was still a “living, breathing document,” which means, “we’re rewriting this as fast Putin dictates it to us.” Secretary of State Marco Rubio kept repeating this phrase like he was trying to convince everyone (including himself) that the plan was not, in fact, dead on arrival.

The first draft magically reflects… almost everything Russia asked for. Ukraine was nominally “consulted,” but mostly in the sense teenagers say their parents “consulted” them before choosing a family vacation.

After two days of Geneva talks, the U.S. began frantically deleting parts of the plan that effectively told Ukraine to hand Putin a fruit basket and say “enjoy the new territory.” Unsurprisingly, the more the plan shifts toward Ukraine’s concerns, the less appealing it becomes to Russia.

Trump originally demanded Ukraine accept a peace plan by Thanksgiving, proving yet again that the president thinks international conflict operates on the same timeline as holiday coupons. The White House has since backed away from that deadline, perhaps realizing that “ending Europe’s biggest war in 70 years by Thursday” was a touch ambitious.

Critics say Trump is appeasing Putin. Supporters say painful concessions are inevitable. Neutral observers say it’s unclear whether the plan is diplomacy or improv theater. Analysts note that even if the final plan goes nowhere, it has at least forced all sides back into talking, because nothing promotes dialogue like threatening to negotiate history’s first geopolitical turkey-timed ceasefire.

Bill Bramhall - Tribune Content Agency

Drew Sheneman - Substack and Tribune Content Agency

Matt Wuerker - Andrews McMeel

Jeff Danziger - Tribune Content Agency

Clay Jones - Substack and Claytoonz

Michael Ramirez - Creators

Ted Rall - Andrews McMeel

Chris Britt - Creators

Rob Rogers - Andrews McMeel

Marjorie Taylor Greene has announced her resignation from Congress. Her departure detonates directly under Speaker Mike Johnson, whose “majority” is now less a governing coalition and more a hostage situation with a headcount problem. With Republicans holding a razor-thin 219–213 margin, Johnson can lose exactly two votes, assuming everyone shows up, stays conscious, and doesn’t suddenly decide they, too, would rather be literally anywhere else.

Greene’s exit doesn’t change the math much, but it does supercharge the chaos. After all, this is the same House where Greene helped lead a bipartisan jailbreak to force a vote on the Epstein files, leaving Johnson looking like a substitute teacher shouting “Guys, PLEASE.”

Now without Greene—who spent the past year attacking Johnson, Trump, Democrats, other Republicans, and occasionally logic—some conservatives may feel inspired to rebel, resign, or join a wellness commune. Johnson still has to pass nine appropriations bills, codify Trump’s executive orders, smash Biden-era regulations, and advance Trump’s magically-defined “affordability agenda,” all while making sure the Tea Party Caucus doesn’t blow up the Capitol’s electrical grid because a spending bill had the wrong comma.

Meanwhile, Greene explained her exit by condemning the “Political Industrial Complex,” claiming both parties manipulate Americans into hating each other. Republicans responded by immediately hating each other about it.

So, Greene is going, Johnson is sweating, the GOP majority is now a game of Jenga played during an earthquake, and the House remains a place where governing is theoretically possible but never observed in the wild.