🙏“MAGA Christians” Edition

In a nation now accustomed to moral whiplash, President Trump’s last few weeks in office offered yet another spiritual obstacle course for American Christians, many of whom continue trying—heroically, creatively, acrobatically—to reconcile the gospel with the behavior of the man they insist is its political guardian.

It wasn’t one particular remark this time. Not one viral insult, not one catchy slur. Instead, it was the whole carousel of presidential conduct: a rotating display of grift, vengeance, gaudy excess, and random military explosions dressed up as foreign policy.

The president has been boasting about killing suspected narcoterrorists in the Caribbean: suspected, in this case, meaning the administration had strong feelings, a satellite photo vaguely shaped like a boat, and an itchy trigger finger. As theologians gently reminded the public, Jesus—famously anti-extrajudicial-killing—was known for healing the sick, not blowing up fishing vessels and calling it righteousness.

Then there are the reports of pardons connected to crypto-fueled fundraising schemes, prompting Christian ethicists to note that the Sermon on the Mount includes many topics (mercy, humility, the poor), but shockingly no section titled: “Blessed Are the Grifters, for Theirs Is the Kingdom of Money for Favors.”

And, in a flourish of imperial décor, the White House has unveiled newly installed gold ornamentation that looked less like the seat of a democratic republic and more like King Herod’s guest lobby. Visitors were encouraged to admire the “historic enhancements,” a phrase which here means “theocrats of old would roll their eyes and say, ‘tone it down.’”

Throughout all of this, many MAGA-aligned Christians remained steadfast, insisting that nothing about Trump’s behavior conflicted with their faith, an assertion rivaled only by the claim that sandals with socks are fashionable. They repeated the familiar refrains: He fights for us. He tells it like it is. He’s God’s chosen hammer for a decadent world.

Meanwhile, pastors and biblical scholars quietly flipped through Scripture with the air of people attempting to solve a mystery: Where, exactly, had Jesus endorsed preemptive airstrikes on strangers? Where had he approved selling access to forgiveness? Where had he advocated gilding the halls of earthly power like a Vegas hotel lobby?

Their search was unsuccessful.

Because the truth—awkward, obvious, and increasingly unavoidable—is that the behaviors now being excused, rationalized, and sometimes celebrated by MAGA Christianity bear no resemblance to the ethic of the man they call Lord. The Jesus of the gospels washed feet, not reputations. He fed the hungry, not donor networks. He comforted the lowly, not the well-connected. He preached humility while MAGA leaders auction off loyalty like it’s an NFT.

If Jesus returned and saw what we’re calling ‘Christian politics,’ he’d overturn more than tables, and MAGA would crucify him—metaphorically speaking—for his “woke” politics.

And yet, the movement persists, caught between worshipping Christ and worshipping power, between following the cross and following a man who prefers gold-plated everything.

The moment demands clarity, not contortion. Because no sermon, no spin, no late-night devotional can bridge the gap between the teachings of Jesus and the spectacle unfolding in Washington.

Angelo Lopez - Cartoon Movement

Dave Whamond - cagle.com/whamond

Nick Anderson - Substack and Tribune Content Agency

KAL - Substack and Andrews McMeel

Jimmy Margulies - King Features

John Darkow - cagle.com/darkow

Jack Ohman - Substack and Tribune Content Agency

Mike Luckovich - Creators

Rob Rogers - Substack and Andrews McMeel

Donald Trump arrived in Mount Pocono, Pennsylvania, on Tuesday determined—according to aides, banners, and the trembling teleprompter—to reboot his presidency and convince Americans he totally understands their financial misery. Unfortunately for everyone involved (except the casino bar selling double margaritas), the reboot immediately crashed, rewound itself into a 2016 campaign rally, and began shouting about immigrants and “shithole countries.”

It was supposed to be an economic speech, a serious reset, a sober acknowledgment that Americans are struggling to pay for groceries. Instead, it quickly transformed into a 90-minute freestyle rant in which affordability was “a hoax,” charts were waved like holy relics, and Ilhan Omar was insulted so aggressively that the crowd spontaneously broke into a xenophobia-themed karaoke session.

Trump insisted he has “no higher priority than making America affordable again,” a claim delivered while standing beneath a giant sign declaring Lower Prices, Bigger Paychecks, moments before mocking the very idea that prices are high. He then graded the economy: “A-plus-plus-plus-plus-plus.”

Given the Orwellian reality warp, “double-plus-good” might have been more apropos.

When he wasn’t praising his own imaginary statistics, Trump revived all the old hits: Biden impressions, border conspiracies, and his signature “weave:” the rhetorical zig-zag he calls a speaking style but which seems more like rapidly advancing dementia.

Then came the racial material, which poured out of him like someone shaking the last ketchup from an old bottle. He mocked Omar’s name, her head covering, her citizenship, her life story, and reality itself. He re-litigated whether he called African nations “shithole countries” by proudly confirming yes, that’s exactly what he said. He wondered aloud why America can’t get more immigrants from Norway, because he couldn’t think of another country with more white people.

Meanwhile, the affordability portion of the event—again, the actual reason for being there—kept tripping over Trump’s own record. Prices have risen under his tariffs, which he first denied, then admitted “may, in some cases,” have contributed to inflation, as though tariffs are mysterious natural occurrences like solar flares.

Still, Trump assured everyone that prices are “coming down tremendously,” despite the Consumer Price Index and the entire known universe disagreeing. He blamed Biden anyway, waving graphs that looked like his staff might have recreated them from Trump’s Sharpie-on-napkin drawings.

The rally ended with Trump dancing to “YMCA,” the traditional musical cue that signaled the nullification of any policy claims made minutes earlier. Supporters chanted “four more years!” despite constitutional law, basic math, and historical precedent.

In Trump time, three years and two months is an eternity.

For everyone else, it’s starting to feel more like a sentence.