😮”Get the Flock Outta Here!” Edition

Aug 11, 2026

America’s newest national freakout has arrived, and it might—for once—actually be worth freaking out about. It involves driving past a camera that knows where you’ve been, where you’re going, what kind of bumper sticker you have, and probably quietly mocks your parallel parking. Police departments love Flock Safety’s nationwide network of license-plate readers because it helps solve crimes. Citizens are increasingly wondering whether solving crimes now requires documenting the comings and goings of every American who leaves the driveway.

The company insists there’s nothing sinister about its system. It merely captures billions of vehicle sightings, links them into a searchable nationwide database, and allows law enforcement to reconstruct where cars have traveled. Critics, however, remain unconvinced that, “don’t worry, we’re only tracking everyone,” is the reassuring slogan Flock thinks it is. After all, history suggests that whenever someone says, “If you haven’t done anything wrong, you have nothing to fear,” they’re probably stalking someone.

The backlash has become so bipartisan it’s making Washington nervous. Libertarians object to government surveillance. Progressives worry about Big Brother using it for immigration enforcement, reproductive rights, and political protests. Conservatives are suddenly discovering they don’t love the idea of a permanent government record showing every trip to church, the gun range, or the feed store. It’s a coalition so improbable in this polarized climate it may be the greatest achievement of the surveillance state.

George Orwell imagined Big Brother watching you through your TV. He never anticipated Big Brother would be bolted to a telephone pole, powered by a solar panel, and quietly logging your license plate as you race from Taco Bell to the nearest port-a-potty.