🚓“Flop Cop” Edition

Aug 04, 2026

The Senate’s latest confirmation drama ended the way so many Washington standoffs do: with everyone declaring victory after agreeing not to do the thing they probably shouldn’t have proposed in the first place. Todd Blanche’s nomination to be the nation’s “top cop” was rescued after two Republican holdouts secured a written promise that the Justice Department would permanently kill the proposed $1.8 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund,” a plan critics feared would compensate those poor souls who mercilessly beat captiol police officers during the January 6 attack on the Capitol.

Apparently, saying “Trust us, it’s dead” wasn’t quite convincing enough. Senators John Cornyn and Thom Tillis insisted on getting it in writing, prompting the Justice Department to issue an order explaining, “beyond any doubt,” that there is no fund. No members were appointed. No claims were processed. No money was distributed. In other words, Washington proudly celebrated the successful elimination of a government program that never actually existed in any meaningful operational sense.

“We want to express our gratitude to Mr. Blanche and his staff for working with us on this, and we look forward to voting to advance his nomination out of the Senate Judiciary Committee soon,” Cornyn and Tillis said in a statement.

The compromise came only after President Trump alternated between threatening to withdraw Blanche’s nomination, defending the idea of compensating January 6 defendants, and suggesting the fund could move forward anyway if Republicans didn’t cooperate. It’s become the administration’s preferred negotiating strategy: announce something controversial, deny it, defend it, cancel it, and then take a victory lap for canceling it.

With the agreement in hand, Blanche’s confirmation appears back on track. Democrats note that other legal avenues could still allow claims against the government, while Republicans hailed the written assurances as a major concession. Washington, meanwhile, once again demonstrated its unique ability to spend a week arguing over a fund that never paid anyone, never accepted applications, and ultimately required an official government order to certify its own nonexistence.