🙀"Epstein, Epstein and More Epstein" Edition

Donald Trump, long-time hype man for the Deep State Talent Show, is now finding out what happens when your audience turns on the headliner for not delivering the grand finale: The Epstein Files: MAGA Unredacted.

For years, Trump cultivated an army of conspiracy enthusiasts like MAGA-themed multi-level marketing—peddling tales of satanic cabals, shadowy elites, and, of course, Jeffrey Epstein’s “client list” that definitely existed and was just waiting for Trump to heroically declassify. But now that he’s back in office and offering nothing but a DOJ memo that says “nah, we’re good,” his loyal base is experiencing a spiritual crisis, one rage-post at a time.

Supporters once convinced that Trump was God’s chosen gladiator in the fight against child sex traffickers are now standing in stunned disbelief as he waves them off with a “Who still cares about Epstein?” tweet. The man who once told them to “believe me” has now left them with nothing to believe in—except maybe Roseanne Barr’s all-caps fury on X.

Even former Trump whisperers like Michael Flynn and Steve Bannon are openly demanding answers, as if they didn’t help write the first season of this conspiracy-soaked saga. Natalie Winters, Bannon’s tiara-wearing protégé, reported “sustained wavering” in the MAGAverse—a phrase that, translated, means “the Q crowd is about to eat itself.”

And when Trump tried the old classic “Blame Hillary, Obama, and Biden,” the crowd didn’t cheer. They booed. Because if the Epstein scandal doesn’t end with a perp walk and a secret dungeon under the Capitol, then what was the point of all the memes, the merch, and the minivans covered in decals of Trump riding an eagle into battle?

The White House, naturally, is pretending it’s all just another Tuesday. Trump himself, who rarely wanders outside the warm embrace of cable news and golf, seems unaware that his own fan base is now questioning whether he’s “ineffective, compromised, or—God forbid—a fraud.”

It’s the ultimate twist: the man who weaponized conspiracy theories to gain power now finds himself cornered by the very cult he built. They believed he’d expose the puppet masters. Now they think he is one.

So as the base spirals into disillusionment and “Where We Go One” starts sounding more like “Where Did He Go?”, one thing is clear: when you promise to slay the dragon and end up selling dragon-themed NFTs instead, even the knights of QAnon start sharpening their pitchforks.

Clay Bennett - Tribune Content Agency

Marshall Ramsey - Creators

Matt Davies - Andrews McMeel

Michael Ramirez - Creators

Bill Bramhall - Tribune Content Agency

Lee Judge - King Features

Jeff Danziger - Tribune Content Agency

Pedro Molina - Tribune Content Agency

David Horsey - Tribune Content Agency

Los Angeles: the land of sun, stars, and now, semi-permanent military occupation. What began as “protecting federal property” has evolved into a full-blown domestic flex by the Trump administration, featuring ICE raids, armored Marines, and terrified tamale vendors. Forget Studio Tours—this summer’s hottest ticket is authoritarian cosplay, with free teargas and a commemorative restraining order for the first 100 attendees.

Roughly 2,100 National Guard troops and 700 Marines have set up camp in the city, with more on the way, like it’s the Coachella of constitutional overreach. Their mission? Keep federal buildings safe from immigrant families and terrifying mariachi bands. The military says it’s here for support, but they brought riot shields and horses, not hugs.

Meanwhile, ICE has been busy staging reality-TV-grade raids in immigrant neighborhoods like MacArthur Park—long known as the Ellis Island of the West, now rebranded as "Checkpoint LA." Agents in tactical gear descended on the park while children were rushed indoors, customers fled pupusa joints, and Homeland Security beamed with pride.

Local businesses are collapsing faster than the administration’s legal logic. One salon owner said even the COVID pandemic was better for business—because back then, at least the government didn’t show up on horseback. Restaurants are empty. Fruit vendors are vanishing. Community morale is so low, people are calling herbalists to treat anxiety, insomnia, and the general experience of living in a police state.

Legal groups have managed a small win: a judge temporarily barred ICE from stopping people based on things like "speaking Spanish" or "existing while brown." A helpful reminder that in 2025, courts are the only place left where due process occasionally peeks out for a breath of air.

So what now? Protesters are dwindling, day laborers are patrolling parking lots with binoculars, and marines are guarding buildings no one’s trying to break into. Meanwhile, residents hunker down, hoping the raids, the tanks, and the national trauma will just go away.