What’s a “Crazy Ivan”? Originally a Cold War submarine maneuver, it refers to a sudden, sharp turn Soviet subs would make to check their sonar blind spot — known as the “baffles”—for hidden pursuers. Risky, unpredictable, and prone to causing collisions, it was immortalized in The Hunt for Red October and named after the stereotypical Russian "Ivan." In other words, a chaotic move born of paranoia and danger.
Which brings us to the latest geopolitical maneuver: Donald Trump lurching back into the Ukraine-Russia drama with a sharp swerve of his own. After Russia launched a weekend blitz of 367 drones and missiles on Ukraine, killing at least 13, Trump took to Truth Social to declare Vladimir Putin “absolutely crazy”—a strong statement from someone who once called him “smart” and “savvy.”
Never ones to let irony go to waste, the Kremlin fired back, diagnosing Trump with “emotional overload”—a rich critique from a regime that responds to infrastructure with cruise missiles. Trump, meanwhile, didn’t stop there. He lamented Putin’s missile strikes, scolded Zelensky for “talking too much,” and then floated the idea of more sanctions—right after mentioning his “very good” two-hour phone chat with Putin about peace.
Elsewhere, Germany dropped its arms-length policy and told Ukraine it could go the distance—literally—by removing range limits on supplied weapons. Chancellor Merz may as well have handed Kyiv a long-range GPS and said, “Go nuts.”
And so, the global stage continues its own version of the Crazy Ivan—missiles flying, leaders spiraling, and diplomacy turning sharply into theater. Instagram beef, vague ceasefire promises, and geopolitical plot twists abound. If peace is coming, it’s apparently taking the long, scenic route—possibly through a sonar blind spot.
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Six months after getting politically steamrolled by Donald Trump — this time with actual popular vote backing—the Democratic Party is still wandering the wreckage like a dazed deer in headlights. Literally. One focus group participant even named the party’s spirit animal as such, noting it just stares into oncoming disaster and accepts its fate. Inspirational stuff.
Democrats now suffer from a record-low 27% approval rating, proving that even their own voters would swipe left if the party showed up on a dating app. Meanwhile, key demographics—young voters, Black voters, Latinos—have begun ghosting them en masse, apparently tired of vibes-heavy speeches and little follow-through.
The party’s internal diagnosis? They’ve “overdrawn their trust account.” Translation: they kept promising rent was due and forgot to Venmo voters anything but identity politics and NPR tote bags.
Republicans are described as apex predators—lions, tigers, sharks—while Democrats are sloths, snails, or in this year’s glow-up: roadkill. It doesn’t help that they’re now holding think tank retreats in five-star hotels to study how to talk to men. One $20 million plan—codenamed SAM (no, really)—includes buying ad space inside video games. Next up: Fortnite filibusters?
On Capitol Hill, Democrats are soul-searching while Republicans are vote-counting. Even once-reliable “blue wall” states are looking suspiciously pink. And while some Dems pin their hopes on a 2026 comeback, others warn not to confuse a midterm sugar rush with a full recovery. The party brand, after all, is still “broadly repellent” — especially to anyone outside Whole Foods.
As one strategist put it, voters want leaders who’ll “stand up for them—or get caught trying.” Right now, the party seems content doing yoga around its own navel, whispering affirmations into the void while democracy ducks incoming fire.
If Democrats have a plan, they might want to find it before Trump does another “Crazy Ivan” and claims New Jersey.
In tRumps first term he accidentally put some tariffs that were clever and Joe Biden actually kept some and instituted more on others, difference was Joe knew what he was about and tRump just wanted to weaponize tariffs and manipulate the stock market and that worked great for him and his rich buddies.
AI sucks half the time it changes your wording incorrectly.
How embarrassing. Yoga around its own naval??? I guess the writer meant navel. That's the problem with AI and Spellcheck. Correct spelling, wrong context.