🐂”Big Beautiful Bull” Edition

Just when Senate Republicans thought they were putting a bow on President Trump’s legislative magnum poopus—The One Big Beautiful Bill Act—House Republicans have emerged like hangry pirates, declaring mutiny over what they see as a bloated, off-brand version of their precious tax-and-slash blueprint.

What began as a bloated, hardline conservative dream—featuring sweeping tax cuts, a crackdown on immigration, and a bon voyage to Medicaid spending—has now morphed into an even more bloated Senate remix full of surprises, like leftover Biden-era clean energy credits and less gratuitous Medicaid cruelty than originally planned. Scandalous.

Things got worse when the Senate’s budget referee (a.k.a. the parliamentarian) red-carded several House wish-list items, including the all-important "deport-them-out-of-Medicaid" clause. Meanwhile, the bill’s tab ballooned like a post-tax-cut deficit, possibly adding trillions more than the already eye-popping $3.3 trillion House version. But hey, what’s a few trillion among friends?

Still, the raucous Freedom Caucus isn’t amused. “This is a nonstarter,” Rep. Ralph Norman grumbled, pounding the table of fiscal purity while perched on a mountain of previous cave-ins to fiscal defilement. Yet history isn’t on the rebels' side: every time they’ve threatened to walk, they’ve ended up slithering back to vote “yes.”